I can't believe it's happened to us. take you a long time to take in what has happened. You cannot believe that

I feel so much pain

The shock will make you bewildered, physical and mental pain

can feel completely overwhelming and very frightening

I feel so depressed, life has no meaning, I can't go on'

many people say there are times after a death when they feel

there is nothing worth living for and they feel like ending it all

I hear and see her, what is wrong with me?

Why did it have to happen to me?

Death of your child is cruel and unfair, they died before their time.

Am I being punished?

Have I done something wrong? Is this my punishment?

If only

you will feel guilty why have I out lived my child?

Remembering things you have said or did or that you didn't say or do

thinking you are hearing or seeing someone who has died is a common

experience and can happen when you least expect it

'They said I'd be over it in a few months'

many people find it takes longer to learn to cope without someone to love,

you will never get over the loss of your child and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Anger

I'm angry, I can't stop crying, don't want to talk to anyone, mood swings,

I could fight with anyone.

Family and friends

Being told pull yourself together, your child would not want you to be like this sound familiar?

You need a holiday? They simply don't understand the devastation.

I do, I have experienced everything above, and the worst one suicide.

I can't make your pain go away, but I could help you cope through this traumatic time.

Writing your feelings down is much easier than talking down a phone.

All you need to do is share your feelings with me.

Devastating grief is not just something that will affect your emotions. It can also have physical consequences that leave you exhausted, feeling sick and unable to eat or sleep. When there has been a childhood death, you may subsequently start suffering from breathlessness, chest pains and dizziness - all recognisable cardiac symptoms which can in themselves be frightening.

Such a reaction is completely normal at times of intense stress, and shock. It could help you to talk about them, and might be useful if this can be with someone other than your own direct family who might be afraid of what this means.

You may find it easier to adjust to what is happening if you can find someone to share it with, who you can talk to about your true feelings, no matter what they are. If you bottle up these feelings they will probably resurface later. They can go deep inside and although you might temporarily feel you have them under control - expressing them, recognising them and thus including them in your life can help you move forward through a period of readjustment to reconstructing a world that you know will never be the same again. Now is a time of enormous grief and devastation. You might find it difficult to believe that the weight of this grief will ever be lifted from you. It can take months for the immediate shock to recede and a lot longer for the raw hurt to ease.

Grieving is not something that can fit into a specific slot. Each person will feel the need to cope with their loss in a different way.